the windswept hair…

At the end of spring semester, Leslie had to create a website for one of her graphics classes, so she borrowed the ideas from Dischord and Shutter and set one up on her plaza account. As a part of her website, she included a “meet the bloggers” section where she had written mini-biographies (along with photos) for me, Rob and herself. I found this biopic amusing, and figured I’d record it here as well:

Sarah lives in Gainesville, Florida, where she studies English at the University of Florida. She prefers her pictures black and white, and her men over-educated. Also, the windswept hair.

i wake up late, can’t get to sleep early…

on Wednesday evening after dancing at the Atlantic on Twist and Shout night Rob and I walked past Flaco’s and I noticed that my favorite painting in the “Elbow Room” is gone-”Pez fuero de agua” no longer hangs on the wall for my general amusement. sad day. i wonder where it is now.

there’s more in my brain now, but nothing that would sound eloquent or well put together… looking forward to the week to come, but aprehensive about the future beyond that.
wanting my brother to visit me here in gainesville, loving walking down to Mary’s cottage and popping in on her and Jane making bread, ecstatic about the concert on the 19th, enjoying breezy summer evenings downtown, uncertain of where to find work, concerned for friends, wanting to write more, ever increasingly aware of the frailty and brevity of life…

bug bites

I hate them. summer thunderstorms and flooding and Florida ecosystems do not suit me… they do, however, work wonders for the mosquito population.
not to mention that leslie and I have discovered a colony of ants residing in our shower. I’ve caught a few straglers venturing outside the comforts of our bathroom and making themselves comfortable on the walls near my bunkbed. now I am paranoid; already troubled sleep becomes even more distraught.
I need an exterminator!

june 19th!!!!

as I sit in bed, I am typing this out on my tiny iPod touch keyboard- so you will have to forgive any horrendous misspellings.
all week rob and I have been working on stuff for Dischord and Shutter. we have booked a musicians’ showcase with Berto at the Exchange, and it promises to me a wonderful event! (bookmark it: Friday, June 19th at nine!!!) every band or musician we were hoping to get play is on board, and not only that but we will be working with an amazing crew called Society Promotions who do a lot of similiar stuff as far as promoting local creatives. I cannot wait for the event! tomorrow we are doing more work on updating the website, I am recording our next podcast (now officially iTunes searchable!), and then we will be at twist and shout night at the Atlantic!

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
can life get any better?!?!?
well…a wealthy benefactor who wants to donate millions to our cause would be a nice bonus, but right now I’ll just settle for it to be the 19th!

yellow dress

it’s 11pm on a monday night. but it’s summer, so time is not a hinderence to me. (though i do have work in the morning, and i’ve not been on the best sleep schedule.)
i am wearning my favorite yellow dress. it was actually my sister Leah’s, but i swapped her a blouse of mine for the dress–convinced i got the better end of the deal.
as i sit on my sofa, i [in typical, ridiculous outofthinair-introspective style] have surmized that this dress reminds me of summer. summer is warm, breezy evenings spent with whispered conversations and rauchous laughter–sweat gently beading at the brows and lips upturned in smile.
it’s a rather stupid, mushy, cliche sentiment, but it’s summer–so i have all the time in the world to come up with outlandish semi-[philosophical] theories and statements.

speaking of theories…
Last Tuesday (the day after I had written about needing a “project” for the summer) I met with my old professor Carl Miller to discuss my paper.
When I got off at work that afternoon, I had a two hour break before I was supposed to meet him, so I texted Rob and ended up meeting up with him and Ben on campus. Ben made note that the Barcelona v. Manchester Unitd game was about to take place, so we planned to go watch it at Mother’s Pub.
[Side note: I love watching soccer. Probably because Hannah played for so many years-I really got into watching it. So much so that my other siblings were almost embarrased by me. It's a shame that soccer is not as big of a sport here as it is overseas (I prefer it to football-hands down). Wish I could watch it more, and if I kept abreast of sports news, I would probably actually remember when the games were.]
Noting that I would have to leave the game at halftime for my meeting, I decided to e-mail Carl and suggested he join the three of us for the game. He did. Awesome. Carl got to Mother’s mid-way through the first half, and visited with us. During halftime he went over my final paper and gave me feedback on my writing.
I was happy to be able to discuss my paper with him, because I really enjoyed writing it and found the subject of religion and postmodernism fascinating. After we discussed my paper Carl presented me with this offer: He’d like for me to work on extending the paper with him for publication. With some editing, and expansion (to 20 pages or so) we’ll seek publication. He said my paper raised a lot of interesting questions. Since he’s busy the first half of this summer, he suggested I do some more research and gather more scholarly resources to back up my work-he’ll do the same. Then, early July we’ll meet and work on the actual paper. I am soooo excited! To actually be able to work on publishing someting (especially when I LOVE the topic) has been my dream! I set the goal of having something published within a year of my college graduation–looks like that might actually happen!

So, I can cross off the need for a summer project.

Another project will be continuing the music and arts review website Rob and I started called Dischord and Shutter. We’ve been trying to pick up momentum and things are coming together quite nicely. I recently interviewed Ricky Kendall from Paxico via Mexcio (love them!) and have been talking with the band about collaborating further with them-I’ve also talked with Society Promotions (local Gainesville non-profit) and Berto Evans about the Exchange Art Gallery co-sponsoring a local musicians’ showcase. I’ve really been enjoying networking [Delane always said I was good at networking...] and meeting new people. With any luck this will really take off.

Summer so far has been slow in coming, but it’s not disappointed yet!

I am reading Kerouac and find I’m drawn to the romanticism of good friends, adventure, and no responsibility… (His writing flirts dangerously with me…)

yellow dresses and dreams and kerouac and no responsibilty and friend-filled adventures are all good, but i hope that somehow my existence evokes change. perhaps i should ask myself what purpose my experiences are serving…or if they’re self-serving…?

I tell myself that I live for something greater than just the day-to-day. I need to remind myself that life is more than just a yellow dress.

the start of summer

Lately there has been an insatiable desire within me to just drop everything and leave–to seek adventure, to move someplace new, etc.

Spring semester closed out with a few loose ends:
despite this semester being one of my favorites, grades loomed over my head like a dark cloud. my poetry class suffered the worst (ironic, because it’s usually the easiest/my favorite subject); alas a 3 hour monday class in the stuffiest room in Turlington doesn’t help. And my spanish class-well, thank goodness i took it pass fail, so it won’t affect my gpa. however, my stress and panic-ridden sleepless nights were a waste: The College of Liberal Arts accepted my request to switch majors and I am now, officially an English major! woohoo!

20th century brit lit was by far my favorite class-Carl was a fantastic teacher! I’m actually meeting with him this week to get some final feedback on my final paper. I decided if I was to pursue a Masters in English, I would focus on modernism and postmodernism.

This summer I’m just living and working in Gainesville-taking a break from the craziness of college classes and going to rest up. I’m working at the Radio Reading Service as well as at Classic 89 as a DJ. TO occupy my evenings I’ve been spending time with friends, going to art shows and concerts, visiting different school organizations, etc.

So far summer has been quiet and relaxing-this past weekend Rob and Leslie came with me down to Ocala to visit my grandparents, Leslie and I went to dinner with her family, I attended Mary’s housewarming party, and had a cookout with another group of friends.

Yet somehow I’ve found myself lately longing for adventure… If i wouldn’t be leaving so much behind, I’m almost certain I’d try to move someplace cool-like Portland or Seattle or California (or even overseas to teach english)-maybe get a job or internship. Who knows. I’m dying to experience more of life. Travel in particular might quell these feelings. I get that from my dad.

can’t sleep lately. don’t know why. i think i need to find some sort of summer project to occupy my time and mind. trying to start back on my “book a week” summer reading program that i started last summer. so far i’m in the middle of 3 books-Kerouac’s “Subterraneans” being my current focus. I think i’ll get back to reading now. work in the morning-guess i’m not sleeping in.

this i leave you

Before bed–before tossing troubled dreams and hurried mornings–I leave you this…

It’s an excerpt from a Ted Hughes poem I read over today [for those of you who don't know him, Hughes was a British poet laureate, and the husband of Sylvia Plath.]
It’s the last few lines of his poem entitled “Fate Playing,” featured in his book “Birthday Letters.”

“…and now your triumph, splashed over me,
Like love forty-nine times magnified,
Like the first thunder cloudburst engulfing
The drought in August
When the whole cracked earth seems to quake
And every leaf trembles
And everything holds up its arms weeping.”

I particularly love the imagery of arms–dry and thirsting–outstretched to welcome the rain.

Joy[ce]: writing about Ulysses, modernism and the church

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

I am niether Irish nor wearing green at present–however, I found it very fitting that I am writing (or at least, attempting to write) a 6 page paper on perhaps one of the greatest blessings to hail from the Emerald Isle: James Joyce.
Ulysses, Joyce’s magnum opus, is considered one of the greatest novels of all time. I have surmized that it must be because it takes an eternity to read.
Either that or men have simply rationalized that since so many parts of it are incomprehensible it must be profound.

For my 20th Century British Literature class (more accurately, my 20th century British Empire literature class) we have a paper due on Joyce’s 600+ page novel.

My thesis is centered around the modern era, and a shift from the ideals (or “moral absolutes,” if you will) of the church, to a more relative aestheticism that was ushered in with the 20th century.
I’m trying to coherently describe this embodiment of the modernist era as displayed in Joyce’s writing–particularly his use of religious symbolism not as a representation of truth, but rather as a representation of art.
So far all i have is a title: Ulysses, Modernism and the Church.
how original.

Why am I having such difficulty in articulating my essay, but yet can manage to blog about it?!
Therin lies the rub.

I had hopped in blogging about my paper I might find myself inspired to actually write it.

20th Century British Lit has been the most enjoyable of my classes thus far, particularly because of the enlightening and intellectually stimulating discussions.

600+ pages provide ample questions upon which to discuss.

i’m hoping this essay doesn’t turn out like most other writings of mine…
my strength lies in narratives, i believe (though most narratives i’ve written to-date have been very weak in their construction).

research is something i enjoy, but not when i have to cite it. (this has nothing to do with plagarism-i will never try to claim another’s writing for my own-i simply hate having to write a paper that requires external sources. i loathe writing bibliographies or MLA formatted papers (something my high-school never really taught effectively).

My writing suffers due in large part to a lack of english classes prior to this semester. I am severly out of practice.

Wish me luck–here goes nothing!
oh Joy[ce]!

west coast blues

Post spring break, and I miss the west coast. Leah and I flew out to visit our good family friends, the Mitchells and the Whalens in Bremerton, which is just a short ferry ride from Seattle, WA.
Our week-long visit was spent in their company, antiquing, taking photos, boating, and enjoying snow flurries.
This was my fifth time visiting the Seattle area, and every time I’m there I fall in love with the Northwest even more! The Florida sunshine came with us, and it did not rain once! One afternoon, Leah and I took the ferry over to Seattle to visit Pike’s Market (where I ended up running into some UF Campus Crusade people) and to just explore more of the city. Most of our time was spent around the market area, though we did end up by Pioneer Square, where I took this photo (my favorite from the whole trip):

Rob had lent me a spare 35mm camera of his–while this photo is decent, my others confirm a need to practice my photography skills.

Leah and I had a wonderful time visiting with our friends (who are really more like family) and it was hard to leave on Friday morning.

I was only home with my family for an afternoon, and Leslie was by on Saturday to take me back to Gainesville with her. We stopped on the way up to have dinner with my grandparents and extended family before arriving home at our apartment.

I’ve settled back in now, but find that I cannot regain any sense of productivity.

Sunday, Leslie and I ran some errands before having friends over for dinner and a movie.

At a local video store I finally found the movie The Fall–I had been searching everywhere for it.
The film was all I hoped it would be, and I have to rank it among my favorite movies of all time.

It’s now monday evening, and I have homework that will most likely keep me up all night. I seem incapable of mustering the initiative to actually start working on it.
Plus (with the advent of allergy season) I also find myself taking lots of Benadryl to quell my incessant sneezing and watery eyes–so I’m also a might bit sleepy.

However, my 7 page paper on Ulysses, Modernism and the Church will not write itself…
Alas! if only I were back on the West coast, it would be three hours earlier!

The Project

A few weeks ago, I ran into my friend Rob at the CSC, and shared with him my “I was born in a tangerine tree poem.” The next afternoon or so later, we met up at the CSC again, and he showed me his own version of the same poem.
We thought it would be cool to collaborate on a book of “tangerines”–brother/sister poems written loosely based off of the other’s previous poem. The only requirement for each poem is that the first line be “I was born in a tangerine tree.”
So far we’ve written about 7 or 8 poems. The goal is to fill an entire notebook. My hope is to pursue publishing eventually.
Rob and I have even endeavored to pair illustrations with a couple of the poems–a of his co-workers at Maude’s drew a pencil sketch for one, and I pulled out my old watercolors from hiding and attempted to put them to good use.
It’s wonderful practice, and I’ve enjoyed the challenge of writing more often and making revision after revision.
I hope this will challenge my creativity even more.
For now it will remain a work in progress, though I may eventually post some of our writings here.