Work…

It’s raining outside.  I’m stuck at work with nothing to do, because I finished it this morning.  And I have lots of work to do and tests to study for before finals…  Ugh.  Not to mention I’m wet because I forgot my umbrella in the dorm.  But enough griping…

I’m excited because I have some awesome ideas for my presentations, and whoa! —I just remembered some homework that I can finish from here!  YAY!

So I’ll get on that.  Because this week I’ve decided to make up for all those other times that I procrastinated.

Commercialism!

Soooo…
Thanksgiving is over (well, Thanksgiving break, that is.  Thankfulness is something that should resonate all year round.)  Which, reminds me about another thing I want to bring up:  I hate how commercialism of halloween and then Christmas immediatly after have caused Thanksgiving to be the forgotten holiday.  And this is simply because besides grocery stores and Black Friday (which I also loathe with a passion) Thanksgiving is probably one of the few major holidays that is un-marketable.  Let me explain…

In sequential order:

Valentine’s Day-major candy and card sales.  Yes, every elementary  school kid (and middle school sometimes) has to have at least 100+ valentines for their entire class…

Easter: More candy, Easter baskets.  (I mean HELLOOOOO!!!  Have we forgotten what the holiday is really about?!  “You mean Peter cottontail?”  No, you idiot.)

Halloween:  Even more candy… (This trend has to say something about America’s obesity levels)

Thanksgiving:  Nothing.  Besides groceries.  But we buy those anyway…we just buy a few more this time.

Christmas:  Gifts, food, more gifts, candy…and a lot more.  Again-we’ve neglected-or seriously undervalued-the real meaning of the season.

Even lesser widely-celebrated holidays like St. Patrick’s day probably get more attention.  (I mean the sale of liquor and anything green must skyrocket!)

Here’s how you can tell if it’s a majorly marketed holiday:  Walk into Walgreens a couple months before the said holiday is to take place.  If the middle aisles in the store are completely decked out in festive array, it’s a majorly marketed holiday.

And I don’t see an aisle of Turkeys or Tofurkeys and “Thank you/greatfulness” cards or pilgrims and Native Americans.

<>What were you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Because I’d honestly like to know.

The only major notice that Thanksgiving gets may be in car commercials or “Black Friday” sales.  “Well, I’m Thankful that I’m so rich as to afford a huge Thanksgiving dinner and a wonderful home and now I’m going to buy a Porche!”  Psh.

When I get the opportunity, or when I’m a little older and have a family of my own, I hope to one day be able to share more fully in the wonderful things that God has blessed my life with.  (What am I talking about?!  I can do that now…  Resolution:  I’m going to look for more ways to do that this Christmas..)  I’m talking about caring for someone who maybe isn’t as fortunate, spening Thanksgiving at a homeless shelter or serving others.  Because I think it’s the perfect time to put your life in perspective.

There is so much wealth that each and everyone of us has to share.

I’m not just talking about financial or materialistic wealth.  Have you seen the movie It’s a Wonderful Life? At the end of the movie, Ben Bailey is called “the richest man” in his town-because he was loved by so many people.  Think, and you don’t have to think hard.  Do you have a home?  A car?  A family?  A job?  Friends?  You have a lot to be thankful for, you have a lot to share.  Give of yourself, give of your time, give of your talents.

I would like to challenge you to do something for someone else.  And do it without any promise of getting anything in return.

It may be very cliche, or overly stated, but we so often forget the real reason for the season.  We become so self-absorbed and just downright gluttonous in many respects.  We turn a cold shoulder to others.  Yes, I am giving the downright most negative view of the holidays, and I admit that there are many wonderful instances of goodwill and selfless behavior.  But should it really take a holiday to bring it out in us?  And that’s just if we don’t manage to get caught up in the commercialism that always manifests itself at this time of year.

Christmas is just around the corner…

Did you bypass Thanksgiving?

Here’s your chance to reedeem yourself.

Be the Charlie Brown who picks the wimpy Christmas tree, instead of all the fake stuff.  And my analogy means…  Get caught up in the real, beautiful sense of the holidays, and forget all the cold, often lifeless, selfish commercialism.

Do something beautiful for someone else.  Turn off the TV, your iPod, the radio.  Ignore the billbaords, fliers, commercials and advertisements.  Forget the stress that often comes with it too…  (Further proff that our country’s habits are detrimental to our health.)  Soak up the splendor of man helping his fellow man.

So, this holiday season…  With Thanksgiving still hopefully fresh on your mind (and mine) let’s remember to live our lives with perspective.

I’m thankful for…

Knowing my brokenness…knowing that I can’t do it alone.

Grace and Mercy.

A Love that surpasses all understanding.

A family that knows me inside and out and loves me anyways.

Friends that will spend countless hours with me, sometimes doing absolutely nothing.

My home.

School.

<>And a lot more…
<>How about you? 

Catch Phrase

It’s 2:27am…So I’ll spare myself any sort of really deep introspective thought right now.  I’m a little tired, but still awake as a result of my 3 odd hours or so nap I took early this evening.

It has been a good weekend.

Friday I had lunch with Delane, and that evening went to the RUF (Reformed University Fellowship) Masquerade Ball, which I enjoyed. I love dancing. I don’t think I’m all that great at it, although Erin [Love] Taylor said I was good at the Robot…which surprized me. Anyways…

Saturday I woke up early and went tailgaiting with RUF before the noon football game. I was excited because my friend Tim Higgins (UF FCA president) got to play in the game, which was the last home game of his senior year…the whole stadium was cheering for him, and the FCA block had an amazing sign and fliers for him. After the game I grabbed something to eat at Panera with Delane, and then we went over to watch some of the Michigan vs. OSU game and Sean, Steve, Stephen, D-Robb and Brandon’s place. From there we went to some of her friends from back home to see their new puppy, caught the rest of the game there, came back to the dorms for a while before going to see the movie The Prestige with some other friends. I enjoyed the film–good acting, well-written, although not the quintessential storybook/fairytale ending you might hope for. But it was worth it.

Sunday I went to church with Grace again at Creekside Community. After church I came back to the dorm and just hung out, played on the computer, watched some motivational speaker/comedian, and took a nap until 8:30pm.

My friend Tana was hosting this “Chocolate Fest” event, which, as the name implies, included a lot of chocolate eating. I was glad to get over their to see her and some other people that I haven’t seen in a while. We all played Catch Phrase, and shared stories of most embarassing moments and whatnot. It was nice. That’s what I like best–fellowship, conversation…just hanging out with people doing nothing in particular. It was a lot of fun. I got back to my room around 2am…

My roomate’s asleep, and I think I’ll be closing my eyes soon too…

Leah—sorry I forgot to call you back earlier tonight…I didn’t end up leaving as early as I had thought…I’ll call you tomorrow.

There’s been a lot on my mind lately, but I’m not going to keep myself up that late tonight…

I don’t know what time I work tomorrow. I need to call my boss in the morning. I’ll probably be in afternoon-ish. I’m going to an FCA Thanksgiving dinner thing tomorrow, and then an RUF Thanksgiving dinner Tuesday night, and then I’ll be heading home Tuesday night with my friend Sean. I cannot wait to be home! I hope I get a chance to help my mom get ready for Thanksgiving! It will be so nice just to get home…

Unfortunately, right now I’m sort of worrying over grades and schedules and finals and all that stuff….UGH.

Well, I hope you’re weekend was enjoyable. It is now early early Monday morning. I hope your Monday is wonderful. If it has been, let me know. It’s always nice hearing that people are doing well.

I hope you weren’t too bored with my writing. I promise I’m more interesting that recaps of weekend events.

Grain Offering for Jealousy

Here’s my final poem for CRW 1301. We had two options this time, I chose the latter, which was to write a poem all our own, with no restrictions… So here it is…

-

Grain Offering For Jealousy

By Sarah Madsen

-

Sin is not the apple,

it is the sour sting

on the tounge of the tresspasser.

No longer green-once blue, perhaps-

envy covers the ground in crimson.

-

And my longing turned to greed

while my rapture-to dark sounds

of a beating heart filled with malice.

Desire costs an ounce of gold

yet damnation its equal in stone.

-

On Jacob’s ladder, the wooden square-

perpetually falling downwards-

towards the West Bank (where covetousness

unwittingly creates opportunity costs to rise)

lies my only birthright , forfeited.

-

In its stead the supply and demand

of holy wars. And innocent hands bleed

the joy of being right.

Their tens of thousands overshadow

my only thousands feat.

-

Contrition’s contusions barely visible on

my skin, now a wolf in martyred sheep’s clothing

In tasting avarice I have found

I was never my brother’s keeper;

I keep only the vile scar on my head.

-

Surely Faust is not correct to think

that mercy awaits the cursed?

This evil is a palindrome, I feel

for me no justification…

But there’s a blood that is better than Abel’s-

a jealousy more virtuous than vindication.

There is a bond…

Sigh.

It’s been a while… That is a bit of an understatement. I have missed writing. For me it’s very relaxing and energizing all at the same time. So, though I should be doing homework and catching up, I am not. I am taking some much needed time to write.

I have so much that I want to say…but some of it’s unrelated, so I might just have to write a couple blogs in one day.

Anyways…

This past weekend was amazing.

I mean AMAZING.

“Why?”

Why it’s quite simple.

I was with my youthgroup.

“Pssssshhhh.”

I’m serious. They can make any weekend amazing. Here’s why… (we might have to do a little backtracking first, go over some history, etc.)

For the first 14-15 years of my life, I grew up in the same church, was homeschooled with the same kids I had Sunday school with, participated in church events, was active in my membership there…

Then my dad announced that for whatever reasons, my family was leaving that church.

I was so mad I didn’t speak to my parents for 3 whole days. I was furious. I cried. I didn’t want to leave it…I loved it so much. I told my dad I’d never be happy at another church like I was at our current one. He told me “You’re going to find a place like that, and say the same thing of it one day…” I brushed off his comment, and held my grudge. (For about a week or so…just until we started attending St. Paul’s).

I have never been so happy in my life to admit that even though I initially disagreed, he was so right.

It didn’t take me long to latch on to the youth ministry there… A lot of the current members at St. Paul’s were longtime family friends and former members of my old church. I started attending the youth services on Sunday evenings, and by the summer (we had started attending the church in the spring) I had signed up for their summer camp-ENGEDI. From there on out, I was hooked. It wasn’t just youth events that we’re getting to me…It was Sunday morning sermons too. I began to feel that I was growing spiritually, I eagerly looked forward to learning at St. Paul’s, to being at the church and in that community.

Long story short…my family has been attending St. Paul’s regularly for going on 5 years now. We are becoming official members the Sunday following Thanksgiving.

In those 5 years, I’ve become involved within the youth ministry, and found a family in that community like nowhere else…

I’ve been to most all of the summer camps, winter retreats, missions trips and other excursions. For about 2 years, I was an active member of the youth worship team, helping with vocals. This coming spring break, I will have come full circle–I am to go on our North Carolina road trip as a counselor!! (I cannot wait!!!)

What makes the St. Paul’s youthgroup so special to me is the people–the friends. They’ve become family.

I love them all so dearly, and could not imagine my life without them. I don’t think I really tell them that enough.

If any of you are reading this, I LOVE YOU!!!

The youth have been really blessed with numerous youth leaders and interns, some who have moved on, or continued their ministries elsewhere, others of whom are still around…
Each one has left a deep impression in my life. (As well as a visible impression upon the youthgroup as a whole.) I value their teaching, but most importantly their friendships. They have taught me what it really means to live a Christ-centered life…what it really means to love and serve others. I so desire to follow the examples that they have set.

The students in the youth mean so much to me. I can’t even begin to describe in words their significance of each of their lives to me. They are some of my best friends. They are the people that I can call at all hours of the day to meet me for coffee at Starbucks. The people whose soccer games I go to watch, who I play ultimate frisbee with on Tuesday evenings. They are the ones who I can dance with, laugh with, share my dreams with. They have influenced so many of my interests… I find my music tastes grow with each of their suggestions, my favorite books or movies are often ones that I have been recomended by them. The decisions that I make when I want to make a difference in the lives of others have often been inspired by the actions and words of those in the youthgroup.

I find that one of my hardest struggles as a Christian is feeling God’s love tangibly. But then I realize… It is often other people that reveal this love to me through themselves. This youthgroup has helped show me Christ.

I know they’re not perfect, I’m not perfect… You may ask others and they may not feel the same way, or be as enthused about the youthgroup at St. Paul’s as I am…

However, they mean the world to me.

With them I have shared smiles, tears, laughter, sorrow, joy and hardships…

This past Tuesday, at RUF (Reformed University Fellowship), our campus minister was preaching on serving God, and whether it was in vain… He said that God gives believers a family…

“There is a bond that you will not find anywhere else, because it is a bond that is focused on eternity…”

The sense of community that I have found at St. Paul’s is amazing. I cannot stress that enough. Anyone who’s ever gotten to know me is bound to have heard stories of my youthgroup…

I have come to realize what a blessing they are to me.

It’s hard to find people this real.

I’ve found that these people are so easy to be myself with. We all share the in the random junk that’s going on in our lives… They are real about their brokenness, and I love it.

If you look at the Bible, you will find that Jesus’ life and ministry was centered around relationships. (I could go into a whole other blog about this…) And the idea of communion–of fellowship with people–is such an intregal part of his life. These relationships–this community that I have found myself in the midst of has become such a huge part of my life. This is part of the beauty that Christ has given us in him: family.

So again…

This past weekend was AMAZING.

I came home and went on a Coast-to-Coast (only Florida Coasts-FYI) excursion with my youthgroup. We woke up early Saturday morning, and drove to New Smyrna, caught the sunrise, had individual devotionals, corporate [group] worship sitting in the sand…

Our group at New Smyrna right before sunrise…

“His glory covered the heavens and his praise filled the earth. His splendor was like the sunrise…”

 

We blared Matisyahu “Jerusalem” on the car speakers each time we got back in the car, singing and dancing as we traveled across the state. We made snowmen pancakes at De Leon Springs, played a quick game of ultimate frisbee…

Hannah and Aaron

Singing to Jerusalem

PANCACKES!!!

 

We made a pit stop, then drove some more, only to arrive at DINOSAUR WORLD (yes…you heard me right. Dinosaur World. Only the cheesiest tourist atractions can be enjoyed the best with good friends). We found the only living thing in the park–fish–and watched them swim, walked around the dinosaurs and played on the playground…

 

“Look, mom! DINOSAURS!!”

 

Watch out behind you!!!!

 

We’re never too old for playgrounds…

 

We drove some more, arrived at Bradenton on the west coast, hung out, played more frisbee, ate dinner, watched the sunset, and sat around the campfire, sharing thoughts on the day as we roasted marshmallows…

The Beach at Bradenton

 

 

Yes, my friends, it was a wonderful weekend…

 

 

In Flanders Fields

In Flander’s Fields

By John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

This was the very first poem I ever memorized fully. I can still recite it today from memory. My seventh grade english teacher, Mr. Twachtman, had been teaching the class about different poems. I loved this one…
John McCrae was a Canadian medical officer in the Boer War and in WWI. He wrote this poem while sitting amongst grave markers on the battlefield at Flanders.
Poppies can only grow in lose, tilled soil. What better place to find them grow than in the dirt where thousands of soldiers had trod…

I don’t know whether or not you agree with any war or not… Whether you feel war is justified, or never justified. I really don’t care. I’m not talking politics here.

There is no denying that war is a tragedy.

But…

For the men and women who gave their lives…

And for those who gave of themselves to serve our country so that we might enjoy the freedom we do today…

Thank you.

Happy Veteran’s Day.

Nightingale

Here’s the latest installment for my CRW 1301 class. We had a couple options for the assignment… I chose the one where we were to write from the perspective of an animal, using Louise Gluck’s The Red Poppy as an example.

I wrote my poem from the perspective of the Nightingale. Here’s some really cool information that I learned about the bird, as I was researching to write the poem:

In the woods, it is not an easy bird to see, but its song is unlike any other bird music heard in this country. It consists of phrases and repetitions, exquisite in variety and tune, especially the deep, low sustained notes.

You cannot confuse it with any other of our song birds. Yet as soon as the young are hatched out, the bird loses its beautiful voice and schools its young with a harsh, raucous call.

There are many traditional stories concerning the bird, but all revolve around a theme which is that the bird sings with its breast pressed upon a sharp thorn, in order to stay awake.

The reason for this is that it is alleged that the nightingale originally only had one eye and that it stole the legendary single eye of the slow worm, since which time the vengeful slow worm has been searching for the bird in order to get back its eye. Thus the nightingale sings all night to keep itself awake.

And…

he song itself is indescribable, though numerous attempts, from the time of Aristophanes to the present, have been made to express in syllables the sound of its many notes; and its effects on those who hear it is described as being almost as varied as are its tones. To some they suggest melancholy; and many poets, referring to the bird in the feminine gender, which cannot sing at all, have described it as “leaning its breast against a thorn and pouring forth its melody in anguish.” Only the male bird sings.

They cannot endure captivity, nine-tenths of those caught dying within a month. Occasionally a pair have lived, where they were brought up by hand, and have seemed contented, singing the song of sadness or of joy.

The nest of the Nightingale is of a rather uncommon kind, being placed on or near the ground, the outworks consisting of a great number of dead leaves ingeniously put together. It has a deep, cut-like hollow, neatly lined with fibrous roots, but the whole is so loosely constructed that a very slight touch disturbs its beautiful arrangement. There are laid from four to six eggs of a deep olive color.

I thought it was cool to learn about such a bird. Anyway, here’s my poem.

Nightingale

By Sarah Madsen

Captivity is not justified by exhibition.

I endure not enclosed,

but free to sing the song

of angels.

Oh, sweet ambrosia—

my voice enraptures the romantic,

whose thoughts of being alone

are soon abandoned

with the closing of eyes.

But I remain

forlorn, with a thorn

pressed against my chest,

I croon all night to keep myself awake.

But if I asked you to,

Would you be my lullaby?

Could you make me drift to sleep?

Lay me down gently,

as I breathe in deep, careful,

for a nest so easily broken

is where I slumber.

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.

Henry David Thoreau said that. I think it’s very true. There are so few words that I can say to describe each of my friends; I don’t think I could ever do them justice. It’s more the deep feelings that I get from having that relationship with them.

So this weekend I went home. It was the first full weekend I’d been back home since August. I think it’d been around 8 weeks…

It was my high school’s homecoming, so I got to go to the football game Friday night and see my two sisters off to the dance on Saturday. It also meant that I got to spend a lot of time with my family and some amazing friends…

A bunch of high school friends were there at the game, so I got to catch up with them… I spent the entire game wandering around visiting with them. (Our team was suffering an unfortunate defeat, anyways… But the Gators were wonderful Saturday against the Georgia Bulldogs! Woohoo!) After the game, my friend Juli picked me up, and I was also surprized with the appearance of my good friend Kristen. We drove over to Starbucks and just sat outside catching up. My other friend Kathy happened to be at another Starbucks location, so we drove over there to see her. Juli, Kristen and Kathy have been some of my best friends since middle school. We’ve pretty much been inseperable over the years…

What was just so nice about it all was just being all together for a little while. We had ended up parking in front of Kristen’s house and visiting in the car until midnight. Kristen and Kathy had to go, and I went with Juli to Steak and Shake before having to pick her brother up from the airport at 1am. His flight ended up being delayed until 2:30am, so Juli took me home, drove back to the airport only discover it was delayed again until 3:30am, only to get back at 4am… Wow. I enjoyed just doing nothing with my friends–just visiting with them, catching up, being able to pick up where we left off. Juli and I decided that the 4 best friends need to go on a roadtrip soon, before we graduate college.

Saturday I slept in a little, and then went to hang out at the mall with Kathy and another friend Leslie, which was cool. I got back home just in time to see my sisters off to the homecoming dance and take some pictures with them…

They’re beautiful…

Later that night I met up with Juli and Kathy… We went out for italian ice before caving in and going to Starbucks for a second time that weekend… (Starbucks is the hangout of choice.) While there, I ran into my friend James from school/youthgroup. He parrallel parked Kathy’s car… Haha

Sunday morning the family went to church. Afterwards, dad took us all out to eat at Buca de Beppo’s (I think I spelled that right…). Later in the day our neighborhood had their annual “Fall Pumpkin Carving Festival.” It’s essentially a huge pot-luck dinner in the cul-de-sac, and everyone visits with each other and carves their jack-o-lanters. It’s WONDERFUL.

Family Shot…

Dad took me to youthgroup music practice later that evening. Man, I’ve missed it! Those guys at youth are just so much fun! Kevin (our youthleader’s talk) was cool. I really liked what he had to say about “a blood better than Abel’s”. I could really identify with it. (More about that later). After youth, a bunch of us went to Starbucks again. (Yes, my third time in one weekend. I just about live there…no, that’s Juli.) I had a blast just sitting in the back of Bishop’s car with everyone, talking to them. They are some of the coolest people you will ever meet. I’m really excited because Kevin asked me to come as a counselor to the youth spring retreat in NC, and I’ll be able to go!! Yay!

Some of us hanging out in Bishop’s car at Starbucks. Who want’s to sit inside when it’s nice outside anyways?

Drew wears everyone else’s sunglasses more than they do… Haha.

Monday morning I had to get my meningitis vaccinne. Not too bad…but I was drained the rest of the afternoon. Before I left back for Gainesville, I got to see my friend Matt on the Price is Right!!! He went on the show over the summer when he was out there. He won a car, and missed winning the showcase at the end, but overbid on it by only $120!!! Yay Matt!!! Can’t wait to see that car… Haha. Drove back up to Gainesville with mom, stopping by Ocala to see the grandparents and have lunch…

I was really to tired to do much, so I just rested Monday night. This morning (or should I say Tuesday morning, seeing as it’s now 12:30am) I was actually able to make it to my 8:30am class, and I was going non-stop until 5pm… Went to RUF tonight, and then joined some friends after as they celebrated a friend’s birthday by going out for ice cream.

You have been reading Sarah’s informative, yet probably boring blog. A recap of my weekend/begining of my week. It was nice to see everyone back home. Now it’s back to work.